Drunk thief stabbed by the statue he was stealing

While allegedly drunk, Alonso visited his local church in the early morning and decided to steal a statue of St. Michael from the Christo Rey Parish church. Alonso is said to have jumped a fence, broken a glass door, and made his way into the building.

Stock photo of a statue of Saint Michael in Rome, Italy

While carrying the heavy statue away from the church, Alonso tripped and punctured his neck with the statue’s sharp sword in what has been dubbed by many as an instant karma moment.

Alonso was given medical attention and was turned over to police after locals noticed his alarming state. Bystanders are said to have seen a blood trail between Alonso and the church. The statue was not damaged, and was soon returned back to the church.

The medics who first treated the suspect initially thought he had been attacked with a knife, but the truth was quickly discovered.

Notably, this wasn’t the first time a commotion occurred at this church. In October 2022, another thief tried stealing a stature of an altar boy, but was apprehended rather quickly.

Before that, local authorities documented that a man died on the stairs of the church because he choked while eating tacos.