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One Veteran’s success with psychedelic therapy
Pop Smoke Media recently had the pleasure of speaking with one Veteran who successfully participated in clinical trials on the efficacy of psychedelics therapy as a means of treating PTSD, and other similar illnesses.
These trials have been a hot topic in recent years, which is only intensifying now that certain states are beginning to move forward with more research, such as in Texas.
Below, is the story of Ari Polivy, who managed to overcome hidden service-related injuries with an unexpected treatment option. His story was originally posted on social media on September 9, 2021, which was later reformatted for clarity. Ari was KC-130J pilot who was retired from the Marine Corps in 2018 due to severe nerve damage that he sustained in 2016-2017 while deployed in support of Operation Inherent Resolve.
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DISCLAIMER: Pop Smoke Media is not comprised of medical professionals. This article is not meant as medical advice or any other form of advice for that matter. This is simply one story that should be heard, purely for the sake of knowing what Veterans are doing for their injuries.
Seeking Peace
Today is my birthday, I turn 32. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone post about themselves on their birthday – but I felt I needed to. Those that know me well, know how private I am – especially on social media. Although a bit outside my comfort zone, I wanted to share a small piece of my story today.
22 Veterans commit suicide every day.
September is suicide awareness month. September 5-11 is suicide prevention week.
In February 2017, I returned home from deployment overseas with a very severe injury. The nerves throughout my body were damaged and reduced by about 35% due to an exposure I had. I was in a great deal of physical pain that ultimately cost me my Marine Corps career.
Right before my 30th birthday, after seeing dozens of Doctors all across the US, trying dozens and dozens of medications, biopsies & procedures…one of the top neurologists in the world finally told me that there’s nothing left to try and hopefully time will heal my nerves and rid me of the pain.
Being in chronic physical pain for years and then hearing one of the top doctors in the world tell me that there’s nothing left to try was a really tough pill to swallow (no pun intended). As I began to cope with my new reality, the thoughts of wanting to die began to pop up intensely and frequently.
The shame and anger of losing my career because of an incurable injury/disease led me on a downward spiral that I never thought would take me to the lows I’d reach as quickly as I did. I began getting professional help (therapies/counseling, yoga, exercise, diets) in 2019. I was surprised that the downward spiral continued.
By my 31st birthday last September, I was working upwards of 20 hours per day, 7 days per week…just to stay alive. Occupying my mind with anything stressful was the only thing that could suppress the suicidal thoughts. I knew what I was doing wasn’t healthy, but it was better than being dead – I had no other choice, especially in the middle of a pandemic with limited access to quality care.
Different therapy
Right after my 31st birthday, I received a call from a study that I’d applied to which was researching the use of psychedelic-drugs in patients with PTSD. I had applied 18 months prior but the study was shut down due to COVID. They wanted me to begin a very intense screening process that would take 3-4 months to see if I’d be a good candidate, without any guarantee of being a participant.
I thought this little glimpse of hope was going to at least stop the downward spiral, but I soon found out it wouldn’t. It took every ounce of my soul to show up to every appointment and not give in to my mind – which wanted me to die to stop the pain immediately.
Right before Thanksgiving, I finally came completely clean to my wife and family regarding my “being”. They all knew about the physical pain but they only had a very small glimpse of the mental pain. Work was no longer numbing my pain and the downward spiral wasn’t stopping.
I shut down my thriving business and shared with them that I was close to hopefully being accepted to a promising study with real results. Everyone was scared and nervous putting their trust in my decisions given my mental state.
In December 2020, I received the news that I’d been accepted to the study and would be receiving my first dose of “medicine”(or placebo) the following week (early December). This news gave me enough energy to make it to that following week. 2 days before my appointment, I received news that there was a shipping hiccup with the substances they needed for the study and they would not be able to conduct the therapy until the beginning of January.
The thought of having to spend another day dealing with suicidal thoughts and pain was brutal. Having to go through another holiday season surrounded by cheerful/happy family was torture. “Quit” isn’t an ingredient that I received when I was born, but I more than ever wanted to quit. I called all of my closest friends and spent as much time as I could just talking to people, just to occupy my mind and not fall victim.
For the next few weeks, I was the walking-dead; I had nothing left. I was nothing more than flesh and bones and that’s how I thought the world around me perceived me.
On January 5th 2021, Samantha dropped me off at an undisclosed location in Boston where I’d be spending the next 24 hours with 2 of the most brilliant and loving doctors in the world and hopefully receiving (it’s a blind study) a psychedelic drug (MDMA/ecstasy) to help set me off on a path of healing. The session was intensive therapy with the assistance of the drug (or placebo).
For the years prior to this day, I would very frequently use the word “struggle” when talking with others. “I’m struggling to fall asleep” “I’m struggling to get to work every day” “I’m struggling to be a good husband” “I’m struggling to be a good father”.
At about 9:30am on that morning, I took two pills and began an 8-hour long therapy session. I felt hollow and numb for the first 45 minutes of the session (the same as I’d been feeling for years, a walking skeleton).
At about that 45 minute mark, I was in the middle of saying the word struggle as I always did, when I burst into tears (the first time I’d cried in about 15 years). It was in that moment, that I knew I was going to live. Words cannot describe the next 8 hours…
That night, I FaceTimed with Samantha – who had ordered Chinese food for her and the kids. I shared with her the story of that moment I just shared with you, to which she held up the fortune that was in her fortune cookie. The struggle was over.
The study lasted for another 5 months to which I underwent hundreds of hours of additional therapy to include 2 more of those 24 hour sessions.
I am proud to share that I have not had a single suicidal thought since. Having gone years without crying or emotions…I now cry a few times per week; most of the time happy tears. I still have challenges and ups and downs, but I am no longer in pain.
I am beyond grateful for my wife, children and family that stuck by me and trusted that I was capable of continuing to fight my demons head on. I am grateful and continually humbled that although I no longer put on the uniform and fight, others continue to.
I’ve spent my entire time in pain, silent. I wanted to share my story because I am 1 of the very few that has received this treatment which is on pace to be available in 2023. I hope that by sharing it, others will continue to fight.
