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Five of the best military stock photos (we could afford)

Daniel Sharp

After an extensive 3 minute search online, we bought the license to 5 of the best stock military photos. You’re welcome for our service.

1. O say, can you… uh line?

Getting a real Starship Troopers vibe from this. Remember, service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?

2. If looks could kill

This feels like it would be the picture ad for a mobile game that is nothing like the demo.

3. Ah yes, I know what all these lights do

These dudes look like a splinter cell spy is gonna drop from the air vent and fill the whole room full of upper cuts.

4. Did someone mention GI Bill?

These “students” look like they are enrolled in the prestigious University of South Atropia. For only 99% of your GI Bill, you can have an official (unofficial) certificate (not legally a certificate) in underwater basket weaving (online class, no actually underwater classes take place) so enroll today!

5. Kind of impressed with this stock photo

This stock photo actually doesn’t look half bad. At first glance, you could pass this off as an actual Marine unit using some high speed tech. However two things give it away:

Don Hume J.I.T. Slide OWB Open Carry Holster, Colt Officer's ACP/Colt 1911 Combat J967000R

Don Hume J.I.T. Slide OWB Open Carry Holster, Colt Officer's ACP/Colt 1911 Combat J967000R

Designed to carry medium sized to small revolvers and autos in a highly concealed manner,...
  1. That unsecured chin strap
  2. Marines can’t read.

I’m sure you salt dogs can point out a few more discrepancies too.

Stock photos from a business prospective

Someone had to pay these models, buy the wardrobes, hire photographers and editors. So, they must have believed they could sell them. Whoms’t is buying these pictures though? I just wanna talk.

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